So Perfect.

Friends and fellow freaks!

Show blogging got away from me with the chaos of the past 2 weeks. Whew! WHAT AN OPENING! Tech was crazy town. People really just don't fathom all the elements that must come together seamlessly for the full effect to be achieved. It's truly a beautiful puzzle.

Poor Kerrie! With her millions of cues and trying to keep the mic balance- I just simply don't know how she does it. With all of our madness, loud voices, and screaming, she really has her work cut out for her. She is a sound genius! And always with a smile on her face :)

I thought to myself the night of Preview...why do I do this? Why do I willingly put myself into the position where my mind starts to race, my heart beat takes off like a race horse and my stomach churns. I once heard that Barbara Streisand has such awful stage fright, that one night she forgot her lyrics and didn't perform for 15 years! What if I EPICALLY fail?

At least Jack Nicholson isn't try to murder me, right?

I get this awful pit in the middle of my torso that just radiates this feeling-lava all through my stomach and back. It's crazy to go through with such a thing! I think, and think, and think myself into this terrible hole of self doubt and fear and then I shake myself out of it. This is my passion- I love this shiz! If it didn't scare me just a little, I'm probably doing it wrong. Once I'm on stage I'm usually fine. Once I feel the energy and focus of the audience, it all clicks. Sure, there are times when my brain starts to jump ahead in the script, but then I snap back to the moment. You have to be able to trust your band, cast, and crew. If something goes wrong, then you deal with it as an ensemble. Sure, there were a few blips and trip-ups, but we got through them - together- and the show went on.

 And after the dust settled and the adrenaline subsided the consensus is: we have a scary show! Woohoo! Really, we couldn't have asked for a better reaction. I had a secret fear in my little black heart, that with our modern audiences who love constant stimulation and action, that the subtlety of the quieter scenes and the building of suspense wouldn't translate well. I mean, we live in an entertainment society full of Michael Bay films and musicals with 45 ensemble members with crazy dance numbers when a person exits the damn stage. But the reactions were priceless. People felt EXACTLY how you are supposed to feel after a horror flick: stressed and pretty sad, haha.

Sure, that may sound awful to you, but it just shows the effective nature of this story telling. You don't need crazy shit to get people's attention. Sometimes, it's keeping the monster behind closed doors and simply hearing the screams...

I know I keep gushing about it, but man, do I adore this set. I love that it feels so much like a home. Being able to arrive early and just settle in is very special. You get a chance to warm up and re-connect with your surroundings before you start the show. I think that's important for a performer. Though the high tension of this show demands a palpable sense of unease from the characters- especially in relation to this strange house they are trapped in- to feel truly able to let go and express that, it's better to feel totally comfortable and free in the space. And Rob has given that gift to us!

I'm extremely proud of this show. I was so honored to not only be a part of it, but to help contribute artistically in the costume department made me that much more connected to the final piece. Giving clothing and color to these characters was a challenge and a privilege. The ever evolving sculpture that is a live show is a beautiful process to witness. From the development of the set, the rehearsal process with our fearless and challenging director, introduction of the band, the morphing and finding new aspects of the characters on behalf of the actors, the ebb and flow of the whole production and it's crew coming together...it's just really damn cool.

Come and see us over at New Line. We'll scare the pants off ya.

Viva la Spooky Season!

P.s. Have YOU gotten your Halloween costume, yet? Get moving, slacker!

"I ran away. He never caught up."

I've given a WHOLE LOTTA thought to what I would do in an apocalypse. And my friends, knowing how much I love the "zombie genre" are always asking me, "what is your plan?" Usually people say something to the extent of "go to Walmart and hunker down" or "I have a whole supply of necessities and guns in my basement" or "screw it, it's my time to zombie shine." My answer is essentially, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA. I always think about the main thing: I have too many people I care about. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. I would be trying to keep track of too many people and probably die in the process, haha. Not to mention the fact that I have no sportsman-like skills and the aim of a blind baby, but I digress.

How has this not happened already, then?

The thought of major loss in these horror stories is always what gets to me. The sudden and horrifying death of people in your life. That's why the situation between Barbra and Johnny is so potent to me. We make jokes about how useless and weak Barbra is in this show at rehearsal, but think about it: she has lost her brother. He was murdered in front of her by a crazed stranger. That is messed up. I told our stage manager (our WONDERFUL stage manager), Gabe, that singing her songs are always really cathartic to me when I've had a bad day. But, really they are cathartic no matter what kind of day I've had. There's a lot of crap thrown at you in this day and age, and you don't really realize how much it builds up in your psyche until you just let it all out. I get to let it out in the form of Barbra. I mean, I feel we are all like her, sometimes. We are faced with tragedy, heart break and fear all the time and sometimes it's just too much to take and you are left lost, alone, and frozen.

This is what you all look like at the Apple store.

On a lighter and more nervous note, TECH is upon us! GAH! WHY DOES IT NEVER FEEL LIKE YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH TIME! *shakes in boots*Our incredible and and most efficient set/lighting designer, Rob, has miraculously already had the set completely done and lit! Amazing! (One of ) my favorite parts of the process is seeing the lights and band. OMG. SO MUCH EXCITE. The uncertainty of the dialogue and lyrics amongst the actors is starting to wane and the vibe is really starting to hit everyone. There are some great scenes with tension that mount to these fights that just epitomize what people do in this situation: panic. They panic with the feeling of a loss of control and personalities and opinions not only clash, but can become dangerous. It's great! :D

We also had our first 2 run throughs with the cutest and most vicious little zombie you ever did see, Pheobe (Karen, Harry and Helen's "injured" daughter). She showed us her ghoulish acting chops and guys...you should be excited. I shall say no more!

ONWARD, UNDEAD PEOPLES, TO TECH WEEKEND!

Happy spooky hump day!